Wandering the halls of CeBIT in Hannover this year, belly stuffed mit Currywurst und Schnitzel (picked up the lingo, as you can see) Sneak happened to spy Asus' new DR-900 e-book reader.

Battling off the hordes of 'other people' looking at the device Sneak finally got its grubby mitts on the machine and was keen to have a play around. It was quite nice and had a few inbuilt demos including several classic texts to show off the book reading functionality.

These included The Hound of the Baskervilles, Pride and Prejudice and, er, well, the Kama Sutra. Yep, there at the bottom was the Kama Sutra. The mind boggles. An interactive touch-screen device showing the Kama Sutra.

It's an interesting tactic, selling a device for its ability to show ancient porn (we jest, of course, it's a cracking read too). Going after the sex dollar could work though, especially after the prudes at Apple banned sex from its app store.

And hey, it's World Book Day today too, so what better day to dust off your copy, or download it to your device, and take in some of the finest Indian literature on offer. There might even be a position called the CeBIT too.

March 4, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

This might come as something of a surprise to you, dear readers: the glorious city of Sunderland has been crowned Facebook capital of the UK.

Yes, according to new figures from market research firm Experian Hitwise compiled for a new episode of the BBC2 series The Virtual Revolution, Wearsiders are on the site more often than inhabitants of any other place in the country.

If the news is true then it has surely been a momentous year for Wearside, which has seen the arrival not only of clean drinking water and mains electricity for the first time in its history, but also a football team which may stay in the Premier League for more than one season. [Although, if you're reading this posting after around April time, forget that last bit].

Yes, since being granted city status in the 90s thanks to the compassion of the Queen and as an attempt to haul it into the 21st century, the area which to many is still fondly referred to as the 'Dark Place', has apparently undergone quite staggering growth, to become a thriving cultural hub and technological centre.

However, pausing for thought, and having visited the fair city of Sunderland - where men are men and girls are orange - Sneak wonders whether Hitwise has its facts right.

If there are indeed enough local inhabitants with internet connected devices/the power of cognitive thought to make these stats a reality, what are they on Facebook for? Well, according to the Telegraph, over 8,000 are signed up to over-hyped mackem band The Futureheads, while over 5,000 are members of the city's World Cup 2018 bid group - good luck guys.

Still wondering? Well, as local businesswoman Karen Seafield is quoted as saying: "It does work really well because if, for example, people are getting ready to go out on the weekend they look for where they can get their hair done or have a spray-tan for the night and it helps."

A spray-tan no doubt does help in Sunderland, especially to light the way to the club in those areas still without electricity.

February 24, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's the one we've all been waiting for (well, Sneak has anyway), sex.com is up for sale!

The sale is taking place after it was revealed that Escom LLC, the company which bought Sex.com in 2006 from Match.com founder Gary Kremen for $14m, is in foreclosure. Which isn't a euphemism.

Such a prestigious domain name (depending on your point of view of course) has created several legal battles over its ownership in the past and so infamous is the three-lettered wonder that an entire book has been written on its history. Sexy!

You can read a brief history of sex.com (at one time a working title for Stephen's Hawking's famous book) on Wikipedia as well, if you really want to know all the sordid, grubby details.

The adult filter policy at Sneak's place of business is particularly strict and so any attempt to look up the site would prove futile but no doubt your imagination can conjure up something apt, or maybe it already is. Although apparently the site itself just has a load of text links to other porn web sites, which is a bit vanilla.

Sneak was keen to snap up the domain for its traffic generating properties, but with a quick whip-round generating a measly £16.83, it looks like we'll be stuck with the above address for some time to come.

February 19, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

It was much simpler in the past. You gave up eggs, batter, and pancakes (right?) for lent, and that way God was happy with you and let you into heaven, where pancakes abound. Or something like that.

But now, what with iPhones, laptops, iPancakes, Twitter, and electronic egg whisks, there's more than ever to see Sneak stray from the righteous path during the 40 days and 40 nights of fasting.

The church though is on a mission to change this. The Bishops of London and Liverpool have, in a coordinated pincer movement, called on the Godless and the heathen to give up carbon emitting technologies and repent - Ye sinners, repent - in order to save, not just Sneak, but the planet too.

Their words came as backing for a larger "Carbon Fast" initiative being promoted by religious charity TearFund which wrote on its website that people should "fast from carbon, pray and cry out for climate justice".

Of course, while an admirable aim, some might say that using technology to look for ways to reduce carbon emissions or to even find viable alternatives to fossil fuels was a more worthwhile way to spend 40 days, rather than merely sticking two hands together and shouting at the sky. Just a thought.

Amen.

February 18, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

An online vote set up to determine a new possible career for Barbie, the doll with a bizarre waistline, has found that the majority of internet users think she should retrain as an IT professional.

The role of computer engineer triumphed over other options such as environmentalist, architect, news anchor and surgeon. 

On launching the vote last month, Mattel said that Barbie regularly broke the 'plastic ceiling' and had worked in some 125 different jobs (someone needs to settle down).

In her life so far Barbie has been an astronaut, rock star, vet, nurse, pilot, police officer, aerobics instructor and, er, pizza chef. It's quite possible judging by the sheer range of different positions that she is an unskilled worker, taking up roles that others may be better qualified to take, or is on the run from the authorities.

"For more than 50 years Barbie has served as a reflection of fashion, culture and aspiration to girls of all ages. Barbie inspires girls to try on different careers, encouraging them to play out their dreams and explore the world and all of its possibilities," said Stephanie Cota, senior vice president, Barbie marketing.

"We believe role-playing with Barbie leads to real life opportunities and are very proud to partner with organisations who continue to inspire girls and women with the belief and confidence that they can do anything."

Mattel has mocked up a Barbie as a computer technician, although with a pink and blue laptop, spectacles, wireless ear piece and pink high heels, she is unlike any tech support Sneak has ever witnessed. It will be on sale by the autumn of this year. Sneak is hoping to get one for Christmas.

February 15, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

February is the cruelest month, at least for ex-Sun Microsystems chief executive Jonathan Schwartz, after he signed off from his role at the company with a haiku on Twitter.

The former head-honcho must have been in a wistful mood to choose such a unique, and somewhat melancholic, way to leave his role. Who knows, perhaps it could set off a wave of poetic scribbling in the rest of the IT sector:

Apple's iPad launch: New device for you / really just a big iPod Touch / you'll buy it anyway.

Google threatens to leave China: We said don't be evil / China does not agree with us though/ so we'll be off then.

Bet you never knew Sneak could haiku with the best of them did you?

However, while Sneak was impressed with Schwartz's effort, it felt something in the style of Private Eye's in-house poet may have been more fitting:

So, farewell then, Jonathan Schwartz,
Former CEO of Sun.
You tweeted,
Your goodbye in a haiku,
On twitter,
How clever.

But now I fear
The sun has set
On your career,
At least for now.

In dedication to EJ Thribb 17Mb and a ½

Any advances on the above, closet poetry writers?

February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

A report in The Times says that Jewish groups and Holocaust survivors are angry with Apple.

At issue is an app called iMussolini: The man who changed the history of our country, which is the current bestseller on Italy's App store, and is being downloaded about 1,000 times a day.

Luigi Marino, the app's 25 year old creator, told the paper that his creation is a collection of audio, video and text speeches, and was launched earlier this month.

Its popularity, however, has offended the Jewish community, one of whom, Leone Soued, head of the Jewish community in Milan, said, "One can hope it will not be a success, but I can understand why the man in the street might download it." Soued added that Apple is, "a serious multinational which deserves respect for its innovations".

Other commentators went further. Tullia Zevi, former head of the Jewish community in Rome, described the app as contributing to "the slide towards legitimising fascism and the rehabilitation of Mussolini", while Armando Cossutta, deputy head of the Italian Association of Partisans, added that it was "an unacceptable attempt to exalt a filthy past".

So far Apple has not commented. Maybe it is too busy working on licensing a new iFührer app.

February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

This weekend Sky television will show a live 3D football match in boozers across the UK.

The broadcaster has announced that it will broadcast the live premiership game between Arsenal (boo) and Manchester United (boo too) at pubs in London, Manchester, Cardiff and Edinburgh, before rolling the technology out in pubs in the rest of the country later this year.

Although he'd usually watch his foot being run over than either one of those teams winning a football game, the prospect of 3D glasses meeting booze goggles is just too rich for Sneak to avoid, so he is likely to try and squeeze himself in at a bar in one of these locations, but not without taking a lot of due care and protection.

Just imagine if a 3D Rooney comes lurching across the pub and scores the winning goal, while simultaneously looking at someone's bird, and knocking over the pints of the assembled Arsenal fans.

Few people would want to be around when that all kicks off, let alone Sneak.

January 28, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Proving that there is someone out there for everyone, and two people out there for some of us, Oracle's big cheese Charles E Phillips Jr has been the victim of a number of rather unfortunate billboard advertisements.

In the billboard ads, which began springing up in the US earlier this week, the president of the firm is seen in an embrace with a lady who is not his wife. Which is a bit odd.

Early on in the campaign people thought that Charles might have been one of the most insensitive people of all time, and was using the huge ads to gloat about the new love in his life. Apparently this is not the case. He is just not very faithful.

According to Phillips, who is currently divorcing his wife, the pictures show him with his former mistress, who he dated for some eight and a half years. They also contain a link to a web page with hundreds of other photos of the pair on. Which must be nice, for anyone who likes to look at that sort of thing, and isn't currently married to the charmer.

"I had an 8½ year serious relationship with YaVaughnie Wilkins," Phillips said in a statement released on Thursday. "My divorce proceedings began in 2008. The relationship with Ms Wilkins has since ended and we both wish each other well."

We can't help but wonder who is behind the ads. Perhaps it is Calvin Klein advertising a new scent?

Adultery has a nice ring about it.

January 22, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Worried that work colleagues take your emails too seriously? That your hundreds or thousands of Twitter followers just don't get your urbane, droll, bitingly sarcastic tweets on the latest tech news? Or just want to come across as a surly, uncommunicative teenager once in a while?

Well then, help is at hand (somewhat literally), with the invention of a new punctuation mark called the sarcasm mark, or to give it its awful official name, the SarcMark.

The firm behind it, called Sarcasm Inc, (cha, how long did it take them to think of THAT?) said the SarcMark (yeah, like, whatever), would be available for $1.99 (£1.22) - wow, great value.

Incidentally, the symbol, looks a bit like a paper clip, or a malformed @ key, which is really cool guys!

In a statement the company said, "Statements have the period, questions have the question mark, exclamations have the exclamation mark and when you see the newest punctuation mark for sarcasm, you'll know the writer of that sentence doesn't literally mean what they're writing; they're being sarcastic." Could they BE any more obvious?

Really though, if you have to spell out your sarcasm out with a SarcMark then you're doing it wrong, as you can probably tell from this post.

In fact, Sneak can't help but be reminded of that wonderful scene from The Simpsons in which Comic Book Guy comments on Professors Frink's sarcasm detector with the line "Oh a sarcasm detector, that's a real useful invention."

January 14, 2010 | Permalink | Comments (0)