Forget the New Romantics, below, it's neuro scientists that have Sneak worried. According to experts on BBC’s Start the Week radio programme, several manufacturers including carmaker BMW and fizzy drink purveyor Coca Cola have set up so-called neuromarketing laboratories. Leading neuroscientist professor Steven Rose said these companies want to know how the brain managers information about brands and, in particular, how your grey matter stores the fact that you prefer Pepsi to Coke. Presumably so that they can set about editing that register. And if BMW is doing it, you can bet your bonus that Microsoft, Sun, Dell, IBM and the rest are at least steering their fingers towards such pies. Be warned. You can listen to a recording of the show at the BBC's site.

January 30, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak notes that Microsoft has chosen the name “Vienna” for the version of Windows due after Vista. Children of the 1980s or earlier will of course immediately recall the thumping pop smash of the same name by Midge Ure’s old band, Ultravox. The group’s magnum opus Vienna was of course famously kept off the coveted number one spot in the hit parade by novelty act Joe Dolce singing (if it can be called singing) Shaddap a Your Face. (“What’s a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey! It’s a terrible song. Hey! Ah shaddup a your face” etc, etc). No doubt open source aficionados will already be planning a version of Linux codenamed SYF for 2008.

January 30, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak mentioned new Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd a couple of weeks ago. Rather than the usual lawyer’s letter, Sneak was surprised to receive a complimentary reviewer’s copy of the first episode on DVD.

And Sneak can report that the first show, at least, is not bad at all. Its resemblance to a real IT department is uncannily exact. If, that is, you work in a decrepit basement surrounded by racks of decaying monitors, trolleys stuffed with old system units, unwashed cups and broken chairs. And if your idea of a burning IT issue is typically covered by BoingBoing rather than IT Week.

Still, at least Sneak was able to play spot the nerdy detail in the background: the flying spaghetti monster pinned to a wall; the “Fair use has a posse” sticker on the door; the Electronic Frontier Foundation logo on a laptop, and of course the RTFM T-shirt.

To be fair to the producers, they did get one thing absolutely spot on: the CEO who thinks sending email is as complicated as IT can possibly get.

The show opens on Friday 3 February at 9.30pm, or you can download it via the Channel 4 web site a week earlier.

Filed under TV and computers

January 24, 2006 Television | Permalink | Comments (5)

Plucky Canadian firm Corel had sad news to relate to the throng assembled at London Zoo for the launch of its latest CorelDraw software package. Balking at calling the new version CorelDraw 13, superstitious Corel had decided on X3. However, despite such efforts, the launch was doomed nonetheless.

The X3 packaging features Carlos the Chameleon, and Corel had lined up London Zoo's Christoper the real-life Chameleon as a body-double for the launch. But the curse of 13 struck the unfortunate creature, and he promptly popped his clogs after 40 years in the fast – er – slow lane, 48 hours before he was due on stage.

So remember, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, make sure you have a backup chameleon, just in case.

January 18, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Like Sneak, readers may have noticed that Google searches sometimes come up with oddities. Google of course plays its cards close to its chest, and doesn’t comment on such things, but certain text searches will bring up a set of images as the first result.

Try searching for “Apple logo” for example - without quotes - and the results page will include pictures of the aforementioned half-eaten fruit. Oddly, searching for Google’s logo does not bring up any pictures.

Obviously image-orientated searches do tend to bring up pics. Pamela Anderson and Gillian Anderson both produce a set of oft-perused images, whereas Gerry Anderson does not.

After exhaustive searching on likely terms, it seems that either (a) Google is doing this in a completely random manner or (b) Google engineers are having a laugh. What else would explain the selection of alarming facial topiary on display when searching for side burns, whereas moustaches, beards, “clean shaven chins” and sundry other terms must make do without imagery.

Sneak would welcome theories about Google’s rationale.

Filed under Google and weird

January 16, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Back in October, IT Week got an odd call from a TV production company, asking for a big box of back issues. IT Week’s publisher said OK, that’ll be £5 per copy. Oddly enough we didn’t hear back. It has since become clear that they were wanted to dress the set of a new Channel 4 comedy from Graham “Father Ted” Linehan, called The IT Crowd, due to air shortly. “The high-rise towers of Renham Industries are full of go-getters, success stories, and winners... apart from in the basement,” according to Channel 4’s blurb. “While their beautiful colleagues work upstairs in fantastic surroundings, the IT department - Jen, Roy and Moss - lurk below ground, scorned by their co-workers as geeky losers.” It all sounds horribly familiar and painfully real to Sneak. Apart from the lack of IT Week, of course.

Filed under TV and computers

January 16, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak was delighted to see that Ed Brill had dropped by to defend IBM’s dinosaur ad. Brill is a sales bigwig working in the Lotus toe of the Software Group leg of the overall IBM beast.

Anyway, another IBM staffer also contacted Sneak in response to the same blog entry, wishing to remain anonymous, to remind us all exactly how old IBM is and how many pies still contain bits of its fingers.

IBM was formed on 15 June 1911 from the merger of Hollerith's Tabulating Machine Company, the Computing Scale Company of America, and the International Time Recording Company. It called itself the Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company (CTR), with a product line ranging “from commercial scales and industrial time recorders to meat and cheese slicers”.

The meat and cheese chopping business was sold off in 1934 – ten years after CTR changed its name to IBM. But IBM being IBM, it was never the kind of company to sell a product, take the money and run. According to Sneak’s tipster, the company sold its kitchen goods with reassuringly long warranties. A bit too long, perhaps.

Sneak would welcome a second source, but allegedly some of the 1930s slicers were sold with guaranties that spares would be available for the life of the machine, meaning that some ancient, wizened cook could conceivably call up customer support today and ask for replacement parts for their trusty old IBM bacon slicer.

Server buyers, especially, should remember this. Be careful to state your requirements very, very clearly when talking to IBM about buying new blades...

January 10, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

This charming greeting met visitors to Amazon.co.uk yesterday: "Is it just me or is everything sh*t?" (only without the asterisk).

Sneak's first thought was that this was some kind of admission, with reference to Amazon's hopeless handling of the Xbox 360 shortage. But on closer inspection it's apparent that this phrase is simply the title of a book that Amazon is evidently promoting.

So, for family-friendly fun, better steer clear of Amazon, it seems.

January 9, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Readers of the IT trade press will be familiar with IBM’s “boxing glove” advertising campaign, in which ordinary business folk are seen squaring up to typical business challenges, with taglines such as “You vs The Incredible Shrinking Deadline”.

Reader Dave Shailer wondered whether there might be the odd subconscious admission in the imagery of the ads – particularly the one promoting Lotus Notes & Domino, which shows a gloved woman in front of a museum-exhibit diplodocus. The Lotus logo is printed immediately above the dinosaur’s head, the IBM logo directly above the tip of its tail.

“Didn’t I learn something in science class about how long it takes a signal from the tail of a dinosaur to reach the head?” Shailer asks. “Like it could be set on fire and the dinosaur would burn up before it even knew it? Hardly a ringing endorsement for a messaging product, don't you think?”

January 5, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

Before Christmas Sneak related the sorry tale of Andy Baxter, who had ordered an Xbox 360 from Amazon on 19 August 2005 but was nonetheless sent to the back of the queue on launch day.

Amazingly some people were even worse off, such as doubly unlucky Dominic Price: “I too placed an order on 19 August, but not with Amazon. I chose retailer Special Reserve, paying £284.99 up front. I felt so smug when I heard that the 360 would be in short supply. And then Special Reserve went into liquidation. So no Xbox and no refund."

At the time Amazon was still promising a December delivery, so Price placed his second order with Amazon. “It was guaranteed to arrive on time, right up until delivery day – when the date suddenly switched to February 2006. Currently I am over £600 out of pocket and have nothing to show for it. Aaaaagh!”

Baxter, meanwhile, cancelled his Amazon order and chose instead to vie with the many Nigerian speculators to be found bidding on eBay. “I have now procured a machine, paying a premium in the process, but it was worth the extra £50,” he says, before adding that – unsurprisingly – he will not be placing an advance order for the upcoming PlayStation 3 with Amazon.

January 3, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today chip giant Intel unveiled its new-look logo – bringing its letter ‘e’ back into line after thirty seven years of letting it skulk along below the rest of the typography.

Sneak is no fan of this kind of brand meddling, and cannot see what merit there is in ditching a highly recognisable symbol in favour of an unfamiliar one. Companies only change their names when they have a history to hide, and they only switch logos when they fear being perceived as a has-been.

These attempts at whitewashing rarely work of course, but that doesn’t stop marketers from applying pots of paint.

Take, for example, the new motto: “Leap ahead”.

It is of course basic marketing to take a real weakness and portray it as a strength, to get in a deflecting counterpunch before a rival can even attempt to launch a blow. Hence the desire to portray Intel as a company capable of making leaps ahead, when in reality it has spent 2005 catching up.

Nimbler rival AMD beat Intel to market with x86-compatible 32bit/64bit chips and with dual-core processors, to name but two important milestones.

Buyers swayed by Intel’s new makeover should remember that it’s always wise to have a good look around before leaping.

January 3, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)