Sneak wonders whether engineers at Sony have been paying too much attention to that episode of The Simpsons where Homer advises companies on new consumer products, with predictable results. ("Nuts and gum – together for the first time!!")

The latest product from the electronics giant is the Vaio VN-CX1, a lightweight and stylish optical mouse with an 800dpi resolution. But that's not all – when you touch a button at the side, the mouse flips open to become a clamshell-style voice-over-IP phone handset!

No, Sneak isn't making this up.

According to Sony, the idea is blissfully simple: "Why have two peripherals to deal with when you only need one?" Well, what happens if you need to use your computer to look up something during a phone call? Suddenly keeping your nuts and gum separate seems like a logical idea after all.

Besides, Sneak thinks building phones into everyday objects is a dangerous path to tread, and that Sony had best start preparing its legal team for damages claims. After all, if this practice catches on, hordes of tired and overworked office workers will develop a reflex to simply lift their hand to their ear whenever there is an incoming call. Fine in the office, but not so great when doing the ironing.

February 21, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

Time magazine recently interviewed Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page, and chief exec Eric Schmidt. It seems Schmidt came along as the nominated adult.

Time: You talk about the need for transparency in the business. What problem are you addressing?

Schmidt: With all the headlines we're making, we don't want our announcements to surprise or confuse anyone. We don't want our partners to think we're competing against them.

Brin [who has been playing with Lego on the table]: Look, I'm only using transparent Legos.

Time: Is there a grand strategy for Google? It seems as if you're diving into almost everything.

Schmidt: We try very hard to look like we're out of control. But in fact the company is very measured. And that's part of our secret.

Page: We don't generally talk about our strategy ... because it's strategic.

All Sneak can say is it’s reassuring to know that the firm’s sky-high market valuation is in safe hands.

February 15, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

To commemorate the 60th anniversary of Eniac, the world’s first electronic computer, News.com asked a number of US industry luminaries about their first brush with computing. Sneak liked Michael Dell’s recollections of the time in 1981, aged 16, his beady eye fell on the family’s new IBM PC: “I remember taking it completely apart to understand how it worked. My parents were pretty upset with me. I then put it back together... The PC back then was built using discrete logic devices instead of ASICs [application-specific integrated circuits], so you could look inside and really understand everything that was going on in terms of the architecture.”
Now, note what Dell doesn’t say. He may have put it back together, but did it still work afterwards?
Also, Sneak can’t help wondering: would Dell’s warranty department look kindly on modern youths trying the same route to self-education?
We will probably never know, but Sneak would welcome readers' reminisces about their first taste of technology.

February 14, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

A colleague was busy telling Sneak about Marc Maiffret, co-founder of digital security firm eEye and, it appears, the kind of guy who shuns collar and tie in favour of rock-band T-shirts. And green hair. Despite this rough-and-unready look, Sneak was still quite a bit surprised to learn of Maiffret’s expletive-laced job title, evidently designed to make it clear who's in charge. The surprise lasted as long as it took Sneak to remember that this particular colleague tends to drop their aitches. And in fact Maiffret is eEye’s chief hacking officer. And not the chief **cking officer.
Sneak still thinks it sounds a bit suspect when you say it quick...

February 13, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak is dusting off the mallet in preparation for the toy craze of 2006. Apparently Caleb Chung, co-creator of the ultra annoying Furby – the talking ball of fur that blighted 1998 – is behind a new US startup called Ugobe, purveyor of a nauseatingly cute robotic baby dinosaur called Pleo. Apparently Ugobe prides itself on making products that move in a lifelike manner. Sneak looks forward to testing how convincingly Pleo runs for its life.

February 8, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Fiat, the large European car maker that struggles to make a profit, has teamed up with Microsoft, which doesn’t, to launch a thing called Blue&Me.

According to the mismatched pair, Blue&Me is “the ultimate in-car communications and entertainment system”. Which, taken literally, means that Sneak can look forward to never hearing from this pair again, as there is no point in them developing their modular Bluetooth and USB-based system any further if it’s already “the ultimate”.

Meanwhile Volkswagen is working with Google and graphics hardware firm Nvidia on in-car navigation based on Google Earth - software from the search firm that maps out the entire globe. Which presumably means that users can look forward to their GPS system hopping randomly from London to New York when its loses satellite lock, rather than simply mixing up The Embankment with The Strand.

And can it be co-incidence that in the same week as Google and VW cuddled up together, Google bumped VW’s arch rival BMW down to zero in its German search rankings, claiming that BMW’s site had broken its rules on search engine optimisation? Sneak feels we should be told.

February 7, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

Readers may recall that the Home Office estimates for its controversial identity card project tend to be on the low side – such that the whole project could probably be paid for by sending Charles Clarke out to busk at Westminster Tube station. This level of fiscal optimism has led Sneak to assume that maths cannot really be the department's strong suit.

So Sneak was pleased to have these suspicions confirmed recently, as the National Audit Office revealed the Home Office's accounts contain more "errors and internal inconsistencies" than a Lib Dem leadership campaign.

Something must be done, so if anyone would like to contribute to Sneak's Buy the Home Office a Calculator fund please send donations ASAP.

Sneak estimates that about £2.99 may be sufficient, although unforeseeable complicating factors could see the cost rise to as much as £19.2bn.

February 6, 2006 Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (0)

Not many people can run up personal debts of $1.22 billion (yes that’s billion, not million) and stay out of bankruptcy court. But you can if your name is Larry Ellison. The Oracle big cheese is currently being sued by shareholders over a convenient sale of $900m in Oracle stock in 2001, shortly before bad earnings took a big bite out of the firm’s market value.

In a bid to clear his name, Ellison’s lawyers have revealed email conversations between the big spender and his hair-tearing accountant, detailing the lavish spending that goes with the lavish lifestyle of a billionaire CEO. The argument being that the share sale was simply an effort to get back toward being in the black (if $300m in personal debt can be considered such a thing).

The San Francisco Chronicle has a detailed account.

February 2, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

The following call took place at 11.24am GMT, 31 January.
Operator: Hello, Symantec. How can I help?
Sneak: I’d like to speak to whoever buys laptops.
Operator: Is this a sales call?
Sneak: Yes. I have a laptop to sell.
Operator: Would you be after someone in our IT department?
Sneak: I doubt it. Probably your industrial espionage department.
Operator: [Pause] I’m sorry, I don’t think we have that department.
Sneak: Right. Plausible deniability. Just tell the big cheese I have a laptop and I’d like to take advantage of Symantec’s recent announcement. Apparently the average corporate laptop is worth half a million quid, when you add up the value to the business of all the data on it.
Operator: Errr...
Sneak: So anyway, I have a borrowed laptop. Well, quite a few borrowed laptops actually, and I’d like to trade them in for half a million apiece. Cash, preferably.
Operator: I don’t think that’s the kind of thing Symantec can help you with.
Sneak: Oh. Bugger. I’ll try McAfee then.
Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.

February 1, 2006 Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)