Sneak reads that so-called “patriotic hackers” are attacking the computer networks of Whitehall with the collusion of the Chinese government. Quite what secrets of central government the People’s Liberation Army is hoping to elicit is a matter for debate. Maybe they’re looking for tips on how to govern a nation … very badly indeed.

Or could it be that some senior Communisty party member with a crush on Gordon is doing some cyber-stalking? (Sneak knows GB only has a limited profile on Facebook, which must be frustrating for all those freaks, middle-aged women and homosexual men that apparently fancy him). Incidentally, Sneak was always a Maggie fan - Simpson not Thatcher.