Sneak has discovered a new report from the Rural Communities Commission which warns that some areas of the country have worse mobile networks than India. Oh dear, first foot-and-mouth, then bird flu, then bluetongue – not to be confused with Bluetooth – and now this.

The government’s Rural Advocate has urged Gordon Brown to get his finger out and encourage investment in new technologies to reverse this trend. And he’s got a good point. After all, it’s probably taking the idea of remote working a bit too far to suggest that your staff must be cut off from the rest of civilisation because they can’t get broadband or a mobile signal.

December 28, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak has spent many a long night in front of his monitor, head in hands, trying to work out why IT is held in such poor standing in so many enterprises. It is ultimately not, Sneak believes, because very often on a Friday afternoon when a mission critical IT problem occurs, said staff have already withdrawn to their ‘office’ in the pub next door. Nor is it because the level of social skills in this band of merry men and woman falls somewhere between Gordon Brown and a piece of bark.

No, none of this actually. New research from the TV Licensing Annual Review has found that computer and technology workers are more likely than any other to commit white collar crime. You know, things like speeding, using the phone while driving a car, or not paying their driving licenses. Maybe one stat in particular explains their lack of popularity. A fifth said they knew a lawbreaker but over half responded that they would actively tell the police if they saw someone committing a crime. No one likes double standards, people.

December 21, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Right, that’s it; the UK is officially getting sadder. Yes, new figures show a 25 percent increase in video games sales this year to the point where they’ve broken the mighty one billion pound barrier. On the back of the Wii, the Xbox, the Playstation, et al, this nation’s glorious inhabitants seem to be happier sitting in their front rooms twiddling their thumbs, or their knobs, than talking, socialising, reading, or doing anything else to expand their tiny minds.

Sneak has the temerity to suggest that if everyone took as much care of their PC and online identity as their Wii, then maybe the internet would be a tad more secure.

December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sneak’s heart goes out to all those unfortunate driving students who have become the latest victim of the government’s inability to secure the data of its citizens. Not only are many still potentially in the unenviable position of not being able to drive, but now they have also been exposed to the risk of having their identities purloined by some ne’erdowells. What a double whammy.

Sneak wonders when and what the next government data loss revelation may be. Perhaps it will shortly be revealed that ten million NHS patient records fell off the back of an ambulance in South Dakota, or something. Or perhaps that a junior civil servant accidentally hurled a few thousand pensioners’ details into the Thames because he was not made aware of the “proper procedures”. (Deep sigh).

December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak is aware that IT managers sometimes get a bad name amongst their fellow staff for being poo-pooers and naysayers. Well, at this most wonderful time of the year it appears that the spirit of Scrooge is alive and well, according to one vendor.

Data protection firm Safeboot has just released research saying that IT managers are terrified of the coming post Christmas period, when their staff will ignore their ban on non-authorised external devices and literally plug into the network every toy they have received from Santa. Um, possibly. But Sneak reckons there may be other things on IT managers’ minds after the break that are more worrying; compliance, the environment, budgetary constraints, career development, getting rid of the 10 pounds you put on over Christmas, the World Cup qualifiers, your Northern Rock shares etc etc.

December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

According to the BBC a giant rat has been discovered by Conservation International in the mountainous jungles of Papua New Guinea.

The beeb has photos of the thing, which Sneak thinks isn't really that giant, especially when you consider the size of the rodents that leap out from behind his fridge whenever it is necessary to move it.

Far better, Sneak thinks, to keep calling the rat tiny. That way it will never get any ideas above its station, and is far less likely to attack any cities. Like, you know, giant animals normally do when they are discovered.

December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Oh dear. It seems that Sneak’s paranoid ramblings a few days ago may be justified. Hot on the heels of the recent launch of two new robots by Japanese motoring giant Toyota, its rival Honda has detailed new advancements in its “advanced humanoid robot”, Asimo.

Now, just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not after you. Sneak is a little disturbed by some of the new features in these bots. Apart from their ability to self-charge when the battery is running low, Honda announced a new “comprehensive system developed so that multiple ASIMOs can share tasks by adjusting to the situation and work together in coordination to provide uninterrupted service”. Have you people not seen the Terminator movies?? You fools, you crazy fools – this is how it begins.

December 14, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak wouldn't be in this business of technology if it wasn't a vibrant, exciting and incredibly important place to work. And yeah, as we all know, the geeks have already inherited the earth –you only need to take one look at the Sunday Times Rich List to prove that. Well, for all you gold-digging harlots who were eyeing up the Web 2.0 geeks, another one has bitten the dust.

Yes, Google co-founder Larry '£9bn' Page has apparently wed a page three stunna. No, not really, she's a doctoral student at Stanford, and decidedly out of Sneak's league. In an attempt to bag himself a hottie, Sneak has decided to found a Web 2.0 firm … well, either that or leave his bedroom a bit more than once a month.

December 11, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

The propensity for Japanese companies to take bewilderingly giant leaps in technological advancement has always struck Sneak with a certain amount of awe. On the other hand though, the propensity for Japanese firms to spend billions of yen developing mind-bogglingly inane gadgets is rather less awe-inspiring. Toyota's latest press release probably falls somewhere between the two; they've just announced two new robots – a "mobility robot" and "violin-playing robot".

The couple are the latest additions to the motoring giant's Toyota Partner Robots initiative which has seen various metallic creatures "developed to support people's everyday life", according to the press blurb. The bots will help humans in four key areas, says Toyota: domestic duties, nursing and healthcare, manufacturing, and short-distance personal transport. But having already watched far too many sci-fi movies than is really healthy for one so young, Sneak is worried about the future. A future when these automatons become indispensable to the human race ... and then one day, they rise, they rise up and strike down their human oppressors! Arrrrgh...

December 7, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)

At last, technology is finally bent into shape to provide something actually useful. For all of you central Londoners, whether late-night revelers caught short waiting for the last bus, or bedraggled shoppers weighed down by bags and stuck in a lav-free no-man's land, here is the service for you.

Thanks to a new scheme from Westminster council, simply text "toilet" to 80097 and you shall receive a list of the nearest lavs to you and their opening hours. This is quite frankly a god-send in Sneak's book. Although, having arrived at the firmly padlocked gates to several public conveniences in the last 48 hours, maybe the council needs to think a bit harder about ways to persuade its citizens not to pee in the streets.

December 4, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

There are some truly, madly wonderful things happening on social media sites these days. Really. Who would have predicted five years ago that we would be virtually poking, bear-hugging and bitch-slapping each other over the world wide interweb? Virtually nobody, that's who.

Now, as Christmas approaches, our new Web 2.0 leaders Facebook, Bebo et al are planning to use the power of their networks to enable advertisers to promote their wares. As dedicated IT Week journalist and sometime PR hat stand Phil Muncaster wrote recently, even a lowly Norwich-based reseller of Terry's Chocolate Oranges could find their profile suddenly and massively increased by a peer recommendations or "trusted referrals" system. There's just one problem Sneak has with this, as one eagle-eyed IT manager pointed out recently; if your Facebook page displays in its news feeds what your friends have just bought, it's likely to take the element of surprise out of your Christmas.

And if your loved one happens to notice your recently bought items do not tally with his or her received gifts on Christmas day, there may be trouble ahead. Could Facebook, rather than bring us closer together, soon bring about the total collapse of our society based on mutual present-buying mutual suspicion and paranoia? Well, no, actually, it looks like the social networking giant has backed down. Would have made a good story though.

December 3, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)