The spectre of online fraud looms large over all corners of the globe, it seems. Sneak has just read new research published in the Mainichi Shimbun which reports that nearly 50 per cent of Japanese find jumping into the world wide web "makes them feel uneasy". Major reasons included rising levels of ID fraud and malware.

Now there are a lot of things that Japanese citizens should find uneasy, Sneak believes. The ready availability of sexually-explicit manga, the percentage of male academics arrested for taking up-skirt photos of schoolgirls in crowded trains and, um, J-pop, for example. But the internet is not something that sprung to mind.

January 30, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak spent some time last week in a sickbed – his own unfortunately… And it was in this medicine induced fog that he happened to watch one, or two, or a lifetime's worth of episodes of Coronation Street. Sadly, Sneak is not sure how many exactly, but is blaming his confusion on a prescription mix-up, and a rather over extended stay in a sauna which left him somewhat bewildered.

During one hellish missive from 'the Street' Sneak was visually attacked by the sight of Steve McDonald and his on screen partner in bed… "My eyes... My eyes... Pass me that powdered glass – I must have some sweet release from the pain" he cried… Worse still, owing to a missing television remote Sneak had to endure some minutes of exposure to this.

During this terrible broadcast McDonald admitted to once sending a text message that was some 10,000 words long. Not characters, words. TEN THOUSAND of them. Who could he have been messaging? His agent? The Samaritans? " Was he sending someone the text of the Bible? Sadly, we will never know since it is unlikely that this will become the subject of an episode of its own.

Well, unless Mr McDonald doesn’t have free text messages as part of his service plan that is. If he does not, that month's bill could be a bank breaker, and would surely have to have some sort of impact on his miserable storylines. Either way, Sneak is praying for the worst, and barring messages from Steve.

Just to be on the safe side.

January 29, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes Sneak has a little difficulty in sniffing out the weirdest and most wonderful in the world of technology to report back to you, faithful readers. But some other times, the stories just write themselves. Take this little jewel, for example: Birmingham-based mobile ringtones and games provider Mobile Fun has just announced a new burial service for old mobile phones.

Yes for a small fee, the firm will take your defunct device and send it to Russia – where else – where it will be buried in the Kursk Magnetic Anomaly, the world’s largest iron ore basin. Apparently this will not only minimise the electromagnetic radiation emanating from the phones but also “release any trapped electromagnetic subconscious psyche”. Ahem. And for an even smaller fee, customers of the service can request their soon-to-be deleted mobile to send a farewell text to their new device. Utter madness.

January 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)

News that Microsoft has filed for a new patent for futuristic software that can link worker drones to their computers and monitor their physiology, has been widely denounced by privacy groups, information commissioners and others. But to this Sneak must add another group of lowly workers. If said software was to become the norm in the workplace, sadly, readers, you may be deprived of your weekly Sneak, and the joys of picking up an IT Week may become a thing of the past.

Not to say the editorial team on the magazine isn’t mentally as sharp as a bag of pins, but, well, the never-ending quest for the IT truth can have a debilitating effect on all but the springiest chickens. Blood pressure, facial movements and skin temperature are rarely stable, and stress and frustration levels can often reach breaking point. Actually, wait a minute, forget IT Week; if this software becomes commonplace, is anyone actually going to be certified fit to work?

January 21, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Oh dear. It seems that data security blunders have hit a new and rather embarrassing low. Alongside drivers, benefit claimants and seemingly most of the UK population, now sexually diseased - sorry, sexually unabashed - citizens have found themselves exposed to the risk of ID fraud. Sneak has discovered that respondents to a confidential sexual health survey conducted by the Manchester Health Watchdog were all thanked for their participation, via a group email. Problem is that the watchdog forgot to conceal the addresses of those they were contacting, so everyone now knows everyone who took part.

Terrible stuff, although quite what good the information would be to an ID fraudster Sneak is not sure, aside from blackmail. Nonetheless it has rattled those taking part.

"It makes me wonder just how confidential the information they've collected really is and if it's even being protected at all. I'd urge people to think twice before participating in any online survey now," 21 year old linguistics student Christopher Garrett is reported as saying. Well, indeed Chris, especially a survey like that one.

January 20, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's as good a reason as any to get your bricks and mortar firm into the scintillating world of the world wide web. Internet giant and dot com success story Yahoo has announced the results of its annual Finds of the Year awards. Among the weird and wonderful this year are Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down – the aptly named site devoted to tea lovers – and Stopped Clocks, which, according to Yahoo "documents one person's passion for finding and fixing stopped clocks across the UK". And not forgetting that modern classic, Fishycam – erm, basically a web cam in front of a fish bowl. Oh my days. Sneak reckons you lot could do better.

January 18, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak has always liked a tipple. Maybe a sherry or two after work and on special occasions, such as the anniversary of a loved one's birth or the release date of a major operating system. And one thing he'll definitely be toasting is the end of the IT freakshow also known as CES in Vegas. Not that Sneak is bitter that he didn't get an invite this year. Or last year. Or the year before for that matter.

Aside from the aforementioned MP3-mounted taser, attendees have been lucky enough to witness such delights as a GPS tracker for dogs, a belt that allows you to play air guitar, a self-driving car, and a pair of glasses which show the wearer any TV programs they might have missed while out and about. And people say IT is dull.

January 14, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas baby has long been home to the great and good of the gadget world. Every year these peddlers of IT trash wheel out the latest in outlandishly weird techno gifts for the assembled mob to “ooh” and “ah” and “dang that rocks man” over. But tasteless hit new lows this week with the launch of the so-called iTaser. Yes, it's a taser with built in MP3 player and headphones.

Have a hankering to severely cripple someone for a few minutes, potentially a lifetime, while listening to your favourite music? Then this is the gadget for you. Sold by Taser International, this must-have item for the law enforcer with his finger on the musical pulse is designed “for both personal protection and personal music for people on the go”. And it’s even produced for the female sadist – or John Waters fan – with red, pink and leapord skin designs all available. Nice.

January 9, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, Bill Gates, or Big Willy G as Sneak, and apparently no one else, likes to call him is a bit of a rocker. Or at least a bit of a wannabe rocker.

During a session at the huge Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas Billy invited well renowned hellraiser and occasional guitar player Slash to join him onstage while he played console game Guitar Hero.

Sneak was either at the bar, in the loo, or at home in Slough when this momentous event took place, but he has had a chance to catch up on the incident via his various RSS feeds, including one from the BBC.

However, due to an unfortunate bit of feed positioning it looks like Gates might have let his stage appearance go to his head… Dancing on Ice Bill? Oh Sorry, that's Gareth Gates.

Ah well. That's probably for the best.

January 8, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak is a fairly affable chap, all told, and doesn't complain much about his work. Really. But when he sees others being rewarded by their altruistic employers, he gets ever so slightly green with envy. Or was that just an adverse reaction to the ten turkey rolls he ate over Christmas? Either way, the news that O2 is rewarding some of its lucky staff with bonuses of up to £1,500 should make the mobile operator ashamed, it really should.

I mean, the firm's "Thanks a Million" initiative may sound like a good idea, rewarding as it does the staff who have helped it achieve a higher customer satisfaction index than the other major operators. But it basically leaves the rest of us proles with nothing else to do in Januray but struggle through our vomiting viruses and moan at O2's forward thinking corporate social responsibility. Bah.

January 7, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak’s always had a soft spot for the little people. No, not leprechauns, children. But quite who the government’s latest plans to improve the little blighters’ education were dreamed up by, god only knows. It seems schools minister Jim Knight is bent on forcing all parents to provide broadband at home, in a vain attempt to close the “achievement gap” between richest and poorest sprogs.

Great idea Jim, but even if you can force IT vendors such as Microsoft, BT and Sky to chop their costs, the chances of said internet connection being used for educational purposes are slim to non-existent. Unless social networking is part of the National Curriculum now.

January 6, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Never a nation that likes to follow the crowd, Russia has decided it's a little bit fed up with this internet malarkey and would probably prefer to do its own version … in Cyrillic. Oh dear, just a few weeks into the job and already Icann's new chairman Peter Dengate Thrush has to try and deal with this spot of bother. Or maybe he doesn't; apparently the Kremlin is arguing that it will be better able to monitor its citizens' internet activity if this brave new Russo-net is established.

So will we all soon be celebrating an end to the dirtying up of our interweb by Russian-based cyber criminals? Um, probably not, Sneak suspects. The wheels of the international domain name industry move about as quickly as those on Sneak's 14 year-old Ford Fiesta.

January 3, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

MC Hammer, yeah, the MC Hammer, is soon to launch a rival to YouTube that solely promotes videos of people dancing.

What part of that sounds weird? All of it? Yeah, same here.

Consider this though. Hammer, or MC Hammer, is apparently a big name in the tech world. He advised software as a service king Salesforce, prior to its launch, used to hang around firms like Apple 'back in the day', and has been asked to speak at high profile IT events.

The man who once said, "Stop! Hammer time!" is now quoted as saying things like, "There is no high-tech lingo or business strategy that you can talk that is above my head. I breathe this stuff."

Hammer has reinvented his self a few times over his career. From gangster rapper, to pop star, to preacher and television personality, and now he has even 'dropped' the comedy trousers. Perhaps it will be this last act that reignites his career properly.

To quote the great man, "And so we pray. Ah,yeah, pray(pray) we got to pray
Just to make it today"… and so on.

January 2, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)