Sneak is a fairly affable chap, all told, and doesn't complain much about his work. Really. But when he sees others being rewarded by their altruistic employers, he gets ever so slightly green with envy. Or was that just an adverse reaction to the ten turkey rolls he ate over Christmas? Either way, the news that O2 is rewarding some of its lucky staff with bonuses of up to £1,500 should make the mobile operator ashamed, it really should.

I mean, the firm's "Thanks a Million" initiative may sound like a good idea, rewarding as it does the staff who have helped it achieve a higher customer satisfaction index than the other major operators. But it basically leaves the rest of us proles with nothing else to do in Januray but struggle through our vomiting viruses and moan at O2's forward thinking corporate social responsibility. Bah.