Sneak spent some time last week in a sickbed – his own unfortunately… And it was in this medicine induced fog that he happened to watch one, or two, or a lifetime's worth of episodes of Coronation Street. Sadly, Sneak is not sure how many exactly, but is blaming his confusion on a prescription mix-up, and a rather over extended stay in a sauna which left him somewhat bewildered.

During one hellish missive from 'the Street' Sneak was visually attacked by the sight of Steve McDonald and his on screen partner in bed… "My eyes... My eyes... Pass me that powdered glass – I must have some sweet release from the pain" he cried… Worse still, owing to a missing television remote Sneak had to endure some minutes of exposure to this.

During this terrible broadcast McDonald admitted to once sending a text message that was some 10,000 words long. Not characters, words. TEN THOUSAND of them. Who could he have been messaging? His agent? The Samaritans? " Was he sending someone the text of the Bible? Sadly, we will never know since it is unlikely that this will become the subject of an episode of its own.

Well, unless Mr McDonald doesn’t have free text messages as part of his service plan that is. If he does not, that month's bill could be a bank breaker, and would surely have to have some sort of impact on his miserable storylines. Either way, Sneak is praying for the worst, and barring messages from Steve.

Just to be on the safe side.