Sneak used to work in an IT department at one of those firms where to encourage good work staff are forced to perform squat thrusts and other cardio-related activities at break time. These days, well, every day after that one awful morning of employment, he is a stranger to the gym, well not a stranger, more a mortal enemy.

That's not to say that he has never been inside one, in fact he has, and ever the gadget buyer he has all the kit but very little of the impetus required for a successful session.

One of the items in his gym arsenal is the Nike+ iPod kit, a little gizmo that sits in his shoe and yells at his MP3 player, which in turn yells in his ear. This yelling is supposed to be helpful, even inspiring, but with Sneak only really serves to annoy.

So, it is with some alarm that Sneak hears that Nike and Apple are making the iPod work direct with gym equipment, letting users plug their Nano into the hellish torture machines on display and track workouts, programme in their 'goals' and collate all of the relevant information to use later when gloating over fat people.

The day that Nike makes trainers that drag the wearer to the gym is the day that Sneak will worry, until then he will stick to listening to his Celine Dion albums on his iPod, from the comfort of his sofa.