In a move almost as irresponsible as disaster recovery firms targeting potential customers in the aftermath of 9-11, with an “I told you so, wanna buy our services?” message, some bright spark has decided it would be a great idea to market mobile phones to six year-olds. Sneak remembers the days of his halcyon youth – footie in the park, cider in the park, um, cider in the pub – basically it wasn’t polluted by the presence of a mobile device.

And just as well … apart from rendering the user an obvious target for a mugging, a happy slap or a sharply-timed tut-tut in a quiet train carriage, it ends up something akin to a Linus blanket. And to be honest, kids have enough of those already without emotionally blackmailing their parents into forking out over 300 quid for one of these cute, pink little phones. Hello Kitty creator Sanrio has said that the phone is actually marketed at adults, thankyou very much. Yeah, right. Maybe the firm should market them at the corporate market too, while they’re at it.